Million Minister March

There was the Million Man March, the Million Mom March, and now the Million Student March. You’ve probably heard of the first two, but the third has just recently burst onto the scene. If you’re unfamiliar with it, the following video will give you a pretty good idea.

Cavuto Interviews Keely Mullen

Learn here about Million Student March

The emergence of this last one puts us on a trajectory for the new movement I propose. That would be the Million Minister March. I can’t wait.

This would have to happen on a Monday because most of us have to preach on Sunday. (Although, we might need Monday as a travel day, so we’d better make it Tuesday.)

Three Demands

Inspired by the college students, I have come up with three demands for a fairer and more equitable system of ministry. They are as follows:

  1. Free seminary education and cancellation of all existing educational debt
  2. $100,000 minimum salary for all ordained clergy ($75,000 for lay pastors, et. al.)
  3. Redistribution of members from all mega-churches to smaller congregations

These demands can easily be met if we rise up and educate the church to the plight of clergy in this country. Such goals are reachable and could be realized through the one percent of people who are hoarding their offerings. If we would institute a policy of a 90% giving rate for them, we would see immediate progress. These people, of course, need to be held accountable.

Administrators can work for free.

Seminaries have overcharged and sucked students dry for many years. They can now empty their coffers and liquidate their holdings to cover the unseemly debt many seminarians have had to carry for so long. Seminary administrators can certainly work for free (it’s their duty).

Seminary professors can become tentmakers in the tradition of the tentApostle Paul so classes can be offered free gratis. Not only would it be cost effective for students, it would be much more Biblical. We need a restoration of these fundamentals (as well as a lot more tents).

Mega-churches certainly don’t need all those members. They don’t deserve them anyway. Every small church should immediately be supplied with an extra two hundred members from the nearest large church until the larger churches are down to two hundred members themselves. This would place everyone on an even playing field. Jesus only had twelve disciples. Why do these people need 10,000?

Some have suggested that the one percent mentioned above might leave if these things were instituted in the church. To them I say, “Don’t be ridiculous.” We all know there’s always going to be a one percent. And just in case (as a sort of hedge) we should place at least one millionaire in every local congregation.

There is one caveat, however. There are only 600,000 clergy persons in the United States. In order to reach the one million mark, we’re going to have to fly in a few hundred thousand ministers from second and third world countries.BrokenPane

Maybe we should push it back to a Wednesday.

2 thoughts on “Million Minister March”

  1. Hey Dave,
    I especially like #3. LOL.
    Of course, then there probably ought to be a #4 — free arm & wrist massages, because that’s going to be a whole lot more hands to shake on a Sunday morning.

    1. Very true, Doug. Of course, if this really happened, we could hire people to shake peoples’ hands on the way out. The clergy body guards wouldn’t let them near the crowds anyway. 🙂

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