Boycott, Gendercott, Louisa May Alcott

target-logo There is an organization commonly referred to as the HRC (the Human Rights Campaign). They are touted as “America’s largest civil rights organization working to achieve lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender equality.” Apparently, each year they put out a survey that measures the support given to LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) folks by large businesses. The results of the survey are published as the CEI (Corporate Equality Index).

I am told that, in 2015, four hundred seven businesses scored 100% on this survey. What that means is, these businesses favorably lined up with the HRC stance that LGBTs are worthy of special protection.

I only mention this because, in the current war over where one can take one’s potty breaks, this has become a huge hot-button issue. In the past few days, a firestorm has risen over a petition to boycott the Target Corporation for being transgender toilette friendly.

“Privacy writ large is my motto.”

I’m probably a bad one to ask about this simply because I don’t even like sharing Funny-Toilet-Paperpublic restrooms with other straight males. Privacy writ large is my motto. I’m all for the “one man, one restroom” rule (pardon the sexist language).

Be that as it may, Target is now more of a target than ever. But according to the aforementioned CEI, there are a whole slew of targets out there. If the HRC’s findings are accurate, the proposed boycott (or should I say, “gendercott”) of Target is only the beginning.

Say it ain’t so, Home Depot!

Included in the HRC’s list of trans-friendly companies are such stalwarts as Apple, McDonald’s, Coca-Cola, Anheuser-Busch, Walgreens, CVS, United Airlines, Boeing, Ford, GM, Toyota, Chase Bank, Bank of America, Citi-Bank, Wells Fargo, Ikea, Sears, JC Penny, Nordstrom, Home Depot, DIRECTV, Sirius-XM Radio, Facebook, Twitter, Google, Sony, Universal, Warner Bros., Disney, Paramount, Comcast, AT&T, IKEA, General Mills, Kellogg, MasterCard, Visa, American Express, and Nike. There are another 368 of them, and these are just the ones with a perfect score.

If all this is true (which apparently it is), the only way to really fight the war of the loo is to go off the grid. I’ve always wanted to do that (sort of), but I really like my creature comforts (private latrines included). I’m not sure I could hack it, so I’m pretty sure I won’t even try.

For me to boycott Target is merely symbolic since I never go there anymore (especially since my credit card info was compromised a couple of years ago—what a pain that was). I was considered a gendercott but decided on a Louisa May Alcott. I definitely don’t want any Little Women in my bathroom.Louisa-May-Alcott

If it sounds like I’m making light of this whole thing, it’s probably because I am. Some guy hanging around a women’s restroom is an absolute absurdity in my mind.

All that being said, there’s only one sure way to win the battle if some female tries to use my urinal. I’ll hold it until I get home. Hmmm… I wonder if Depends is on that list.

[Dave Zuchelli is a graduate of Pittsburgh Theological Seminary and is currently the pastor of Smith Chapel, in Great Falls, VA.]

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