One Piece of Toilet Paper

tp I’m sure you’ve heard by now that each of us should only be using one sheet of toilet paper per sitting. If you haven’t, allow me to be the first to congratulate you on your newfound efficiency.

This philosophy is not one I espouse. I do not subscribe to it, nor do I think I could actually pull it off (no pun intended). It seems like it would be a rather messy business (sorry, I couldn’t resist).

As you may have guessed, this is a little habit advocated by the environmentalists among us. I can certainly understand the thinking behind it. I know I could probably save about seventeen trees/year by adopting this practice. Still, I can’t bring myself to attempt it. Old dog, new trick…

You may be asking yourself why a blogger about all things spiritual would write a post concerning toilet paper. Good question. I’m not exactly sure myself, but the whole thought intrigues me. (It also disgusts me, but that’s beside the point.)

“I love ice cream.”

The real point is the fact that so many of us just seem to go to extremes. Take me, for example. I love ice cream. Ice cream is good. If there’s a Heaven (and I believe there is), its freezers are loaded with ice cream.icecream

So if we have a carton of ice cream in our freezer at home, do I pull it out in the evening for a small bedtime snack? Nay, nay! If I go unchecked by my lovely bride, I eat the entire container. This, of course, is ice cream overkill. It’s tutti-frutti to the extreme.

Take a look around you. We seem to do this with everything. We even do this in the church. How do you think we ended up with things like buildings, pews, youth groups, and full-time paid clergy (just to name a few)?

“We’re such extremists.”

When the church began on the day of Pentecost, we didn’t have any of this stuff. Now we have it ad nauseam. My guess is the Apostle Paul would have a stroke if he saw our ice cream mentality.

Paul said in a letter, “When you come together, each of you has a hymn, or a word of instruction, a revelation, a tongue or an interpretation.” (1 Corinthians 14:26) Frankly, that sounds way too simple. I guess he forgot to mention the praise band, the coffee bar, and the PA system. We’re such extremists.extreme

By the way, there’s a video on YouTube that gives blow-by-blow instructions on using one piece of toilet paper per bathroom visit. They’ve got a video for everything else—why not this? It’s a bit crude, so don’t watch it if you’ve got a weak stomach. If you can handle the grossiosity, it’s rather informative. I don’t recommend it, but I know some of you are dying to know. Go there at your own risk (but don’t tell them I sent you). I’d give you the link, but I’d take too much ordure for it.

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