Organic Dry Cleaning

MarchonMonsanto A couple years ago, my lovely bride jumped onto the “March Against Monsanto” bandwagon. This, of course, meant that I too jumped on the dray along with her. I was a tad more reticent than she, but who’s counting?

We slowly learned how to cut Monsanto out of our lives (sort of). The dreaded chemicals we always lived with have gradually (and sometimes painfully) faded into the sunset (or more aptly, into the rearview mirror) of our lives.

The biggest part of this new lifestyle has been the inclusion of organic foods into our diets. This can only be a good thing (if you don’t count the fact that our grocery bill is now three times what it once was). But don’t get me wrong. This new direction in culinary acquisitions suits me just fine.

“The word, conventional, has become anathema to me.”

I really like being fat and happy. Now I’m fat and happy AND healthy all at the same time. Maybe fat and healthy don’t actually fit together, but we’re working on that one.

Since I do most of the grocery shopping, my senses have become acutely in tuned to the word, organic. These days, every time I see that word, I’m drawn immediately toward the product that’s labeled as such. In turn, the word “conventional” has become anathema to me. (In case you’re not familiar with the current usage of the term, conventional, it’s now used to describe any veggie or other food product that doesn’t fit into the organic camp. Who knew?)GreenClean

Recently, I was driving by a shopping center and noticed a peculiar sign in one of the windows. The sign read, “Organic Dry Cleaning.” My non-conventional antennae went up, and I’ve been thinking about that ever since.

I totally understand organic foods. After all, who wants to put something into their body that’s going to preserve them like a pickle? However, the significance of organic dry cleaning somehow escapes me. I don’t lick my clothes when they return from the cleaners, so I’m not sure how this helps. Besides, we don’t want to run Monsanto totally out of business, do we?

“It can’t be that we’ll be using organic Bibles.”

I’m waiting for all of this to hit the church, and I’m wondering how it will impact us. It can’t be that we’ll be using organic Bibles. We’ve already gone digital on those. I don’t think it will affect the building materials we use to construct our sanctuaries. We’re pretty organic in that area already (think wood).

The only things that come to mind at this point are the candles. A lot of us still use those. I’m sure there must be some organic tapers out there somewhere. If we’re going to be carrying the light into the world, it would behoove us to do it in a non-conventional way.

This, of course, brings us to the ultimate question. What would Jesus do? I’m quite sure he would have used Mrs. Goldberg’s Organic Candles scented with natural essential oils. I’ll check the Scriptures and get back to you on that one.

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[Dave Zuchelli is a graduate of Pittsburgh Theological Seminary and is currently the pastor of Smith Chapel, in Great Falls, VA.]

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