Wonder Woman: It’s the Pits!

Well, the trailer for the new Wonder Woman flick has been released. Like everything else in the world these days, it has produced controversy. Like many of the controversies of our time, it’s a bit ridiculous. Okay, it’s a lot ridiculous.

People are complaining because Wonder Woman has no hair in her armpits—she’s clean-shaven. Imagine that! Horror of horrors! What is this world coming to?

Really? I’m willing to stand with the feminist movement on equal pay, equal opportunity, and smashing glass ceilings. They’ve lost me at armpit hair, however. If Wonder Woman wants to shave her pits, so be it.

The fact of the matter is, Wonder Woman made her first appearance in 1941 (she has aged well). She appeared with no hair in her armpits. Over the past seventy-six years, she has never appeared in public with unshaven armpits. I’m not sure why it’s become a big deal at this late juncture.

The complaint seems to be that an Amazon out saving the world would not have time to be clean-shaven. It’s an insult to superhuman Amazons everywhere. Or at least, that’s what they seem to be saying.

“I’m not sure why feminists are getting so uptight.”

The point has been made that anyone who can toss around cars and fly, doesn’t have to answer to anyone about her personal hygiene. It may also be the case that Amazons do not grow hair in their armpits (or on their legs for that matter). Truth be told, I’m not even sure Wonder Woman is a real person. I can state unequivocally that I’ve never been in the same room with her.

Furthermore, I’m not sure why the feminists are getting so uptight about this movie trailer. The real news here is the movie was directed by a woman (Patty Jenkins). I would think that should be something to be celebrated. She’s actually a real woman with a prestigious position. I have not heard, however, whether she shaves her armpits (I’m betting, yes).

The amazing point about all this is the fuss people like to make over unimportant matters. What do we care about Wonder Woman’s underarm hollows? If she does grow some hair, is that going to advance the cause of women’s rights? I’m thinking the answer to that one is a big, fat “NO!” I may be wrong on that point, but I’m sure I’ll hear about it if I am.

In his Sermon on the Mount (which I’ve been thinking a lot about as of late), Jesus said these words. “Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” (Matthew 6:27) I try to take his words seriously. In doing so, I feel the need to set aside all my worrying about Wonder Woman’s underarm coiffe (or lack thereof). Thus, this is the last time you’ll hear me mention it (maybe ever).

While it’s a fascinating subject, I think I’d rather hear a review of the actual movie. If it’s worth seeing, I might attend. I’ll just bring my own hair.

[Dave Zuchelli is a graduate of Pittsburgh Theological Seminary and is currently the pastor of Smith Chapel, in Great Falls, VA.]

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