Stop Having Kids

I just heard of a recent study that has resulted in the following “To Do” list to save our planet. It includes the following: 1) Stop having kids, 2) become a vegetarian, 3) get rid of your car, and 4) fly less. Just shoot me now (before you bury your gun).

I wonder who paid for this study. You can be sure it wasn’t a meat-eating Mormon or Roman Catholic. Any of them would have a real problem with the results of this baby.

I’m pretty sure no one expects anyone to take this thing seriously. I’m up for saving the planet and all, but for whom? If we all stop having kids, this orb will be left totally for the flora and fauna in one, quick generation. Or maybe some wandering spacemen will stumble across our oxygen rich Eden when we’re gone.

“I actually like that idea.”

Admittedly, we’ll all be a tad healthier if we junk our cars and start walking everywhere. We’d have to entirely change our culture, of course. All our jobs would have to be within walking distance (or a short horse ride away). Maybe we could all work from home. I actually like that idea.

I would have a hard time visiting my children and grandchildren. Most of them live in Florida (while I live in Virginia). Even the close ones would be about a day’s walk away. By car, it’s forty-five minutes. All of this is sounding worse and worse.

That vegetarian thing is a killer, too. I know there are a lot of you who can pull that off. I’m a little hesitant to say I could do it, however. I suppose I could eat a lot of spaghetti (sans meatballs), but even that gets a bit tiring after awhile.

Has anyone figured God into the formula?

I happen to think studies like this are useless—and probably senseless. Is it good for us to know that we are vile germs permeating our world? Is it helpful to comprehend that, if we were exterminated, the planet would be better off? I don’t feel any better understanding any of that.

I don’t suppose anyone bothered to figure God into the formula. If they had, somehow I think the results would have been a tad different. For example, I’m guessing they would have found it more advantageous to have large families that eat healthy and take care of each other. Large families would also share the family car. And since they’re so large, they wouldn’t have to fly so much to see their relatives.

Whatever happened to “Go forth, be fruitful, and multiply”? Is this an outdated phrase from Genesis 1? It’s immediately followed up by, “fill the earth and subdue it.” This is all blasphemy to someone who thinks human beings are a collective blight upon the earth.

Some folks might say we have already fulfilled that directive. I say, “Nay, nay!” We have yet to really subdue the earth, and we’ll need more people to do so. Besides, who’s going to cook our bacon?

[Dave Zuchelli is a graduate of Pittsburgh Theological Seminary and is currently the pastor of Smith Chapel, in Great Falls, VA.]

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