Yoga Pants for Men

Everyone loves yoga pants. The gals seem to love them because they’re easy and comfortable. The guys like them because they love seeing the gals in them. It’s a win-win.

Comedian Tim Hawkins has written a great song about yoga pants. I’m not totally sure why, but I think it captures much of the allure (from the feminine side). It’s written from a man’s point of view, but I’m guessing it does the phenomenon justice.

Today, I was perusing the web and found an ad promoting yoga pants for men. When I was in high school, we guys wore denims so tight they rivaled today’s skinny jeans. Still, I’m not sure I’d want to be caught dead in yoga pants (as tempting as they may be).

Something got lost in translation.

I’m not even sure what yoga is. I know it has something to do with exercise and eastern religion, but beyond that, I’m at a loss. I have to say, however, I’ve never seen Indian women in those drawers. Saris seem to be the apparel of choice for them. Something must have gotten lost (or added) in translation.

I was wondering what the difference was between leggings and yoga pants. At least one source says they’re the same thing. That would have been my guess. At least my eyes aren’t deceiving me.

While I was checking out that little factoid, I ran across an article entitled, “The Nineteen Reasons Why All Women Worship Yoga Pants.” That was kind of a shocker for me. I knew they all liked them—but worship them? That’s a bit strong, don’t you think? The language was a bit much, but it was quite informative.

Among the nineteen reasons was this gem listed as number five: “You can wear them to the gym and then straight out to happy hour.” Really?! When I go to the gym, I have to take a shower or no one else will be happy during happy hour. It’s just a matter of biology (not to mention couth). Don’t these women sweat in the gym?

“Now that makes sense.”

Number ten is an antithesis to that one: “They make you look athletic, even when you haven’t stepped inside a gym in months.” Now, that makes sense.

This all leads me to my ultimate question. What would Jesus do? Or maybe I should ask, what would Jesus wear (or what did he actually wear)? If historians are correct, he (and all the other folks in his genre, wore tunic type garments. Loose fitting, non-clingy, tunics. These would be (at least in my mind) the opposite of yoga pants. Of course Jesus walked just about everywhere he went, so he got enough exercise. He didn’t have to do yoga. Plus, he started his own eastern religion (so to speak), so yoga was totally unnecessary on any level for him.

Frankly, I’m not all that interested in wearing a tunic either. Yoga pants are right out. So I guess I’m left with a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. Oh well…

[Dave Zuchelli is a graduate of Pittsburgh Theological Seminary and is currently pastor of Smith Chapel in Great Falls, VA.]

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