Don’t Lose Your Phone

A recent Facebook story:

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cellular phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: “Hello”
WOMAN: “Hi Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?”
MAN: “Yes.
WOMAN: “I’m at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat. It’s only $2,000; is it OK if I buy it?”
MAN: “Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.”
WOMAN: “I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and saw the new models. I saw one I really liked.”
MAN: “How much?”
WOMAN: “$90,000.”
MAN: “OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.”
WOMAN: “Great! Oh, and one more thing. I was just talking to Janie and found out that the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They’re asking $980,000 for it.”
MAN: “Well, then go ahead and make an offer of $900,000. They’ll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra eighty-thousand if it’s what you really want.”
WOMAN: “OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much!”
MAN: “Bye! I love you, too.”
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.
He turns and asks, “Anyone know who’s phone this is?”

Apparently, it doesn’t pay to lose your cell phone. I’ve lost mine a few times, but it’s never resulted in the kind of catastrophe the poor, unnamed guy in the story suffered. Thank goodness for the app that locates it for you.

I’ve lost it underneath the seat of my car a couple of times. The app showed it was at my home, but it still took awhile to find it and almost as long to retrieve it.

Another time I lost it at my sister’s. The app showed me exactly where it was—also under the seat of her car. That one was a bit easier.

The most interesting time, however, was the last time I misplaced it. I left a doctor’s office, stopped off in the restroom, then headed for home. When I arrived, I realized I didn’t have my phone, but I knew exactly where I had left it. I doubled back to the office and headed to the restroom. It was gone (the phone, not the restroom). The office building had no place for lost and found items, so I headed back home, jumped on my computer, and checked the app.

I could see the phone moving along a street. I figured I had lost it for good this time. Fortunately, the app also has an alert button that makes the phone flash and gives the carrier a way to call your home phone. He immediately called me and I drove to meet him and retrieve my phone. What a hassle! I need to get a nerd strap.

[Dave Zuchelli is a graduate of Pittsburgh Theological Seminary and is currently pastor of Smith Chapel in Great Falls, VA.]

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