I had just embarked a plane with my lovely Bride when we heard two men and a woman conversing in the row behind us. They had apparently just met. One man was explaining to the other that his wife had a great job and that he was the designated, stay-at-home partner. The other gentleman congratulated him on his unique position and remarked, “So, you’re her trophy husband!”
Since I, too, am a house husband, my spouse and I relished the conversation and smiled at each other. The “trophy husband” remark was icing on the proverbial cake. I’ve been pondering it ever since. While I don’t fancy myself to be a trophy husband by a long shot, it’s an interesting concept.
I Didn’t Get the T-Shirt
I checked the internet and discovered that being a trophy husband is a real thing. I just thought the guy on the plane had coined a new term, but no. There really are such animals. In fact, there are t-shirts. You always know it’s a real thing when there are t-shirts. I considered ordering one that said, “Denise’s Trophy Husband,” but I chickened out. I’m pretty sure I don’t qualify.
The Urban Dictionary defines trophy husband as “a man who looks amazing and sits at home all day, mooching off his wife’s money.” Well, maybe I do qualify (just kidding). None of that actually applies to me. I don’t sit at home all day, and I have my own income stream (however meager at this point). One out of three ain’t bad, however. Unfortunately, the body has gone bad in recent years, so I believe the mighty Casey has struck out.
I suppose the goal of being a trophy husband is something a few men aspire to, but most of us will never meet the stringent parameters of such a position. More importantly, most of us would be totally bored with such a deal. Trying it on for size might be fun for a while (especially the amazing body part), but living off someone else’s dime (particularly someone you love) isn’t the best way to boost your ego or maintain your self-esteem.
After a while, you’d be miserable—at least, I know I would. The exception to this, of course, is when I lived off my Dad’s dime for a couple of decades. I felt pretty good about that until I got tired of him telling me what I could and couldn’t do. Once that arrangement was broken, there was no looking back. I guess they call that, adulthood.
The Apostle Paul once told the church in Corinth that “the husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife.” In context, he was speaking about sexual relations, but I’m pretty sure this extends to other areas as well—like not being a sponge. I don’t want to put words into the Apostles’ mouth (or pen), but he seemed to be a stickler for respecting each other. I’m not sure a trophy husband holds a lot of respect for his spouse.
[Dave Zuchelli is a graduate of Pittsburgh Theological Seminary and currently resides in Aldie, VA.]